Insomnia

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book” 

Irish Proverb

Getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, some form of exercise make up some of the ingredients for a healthy, happy you! Sleep is an essential building block for our physical and mental well being. But what about when you don’t sleep well which most of us at some point in our lives has experienced! 

You toss and turn, thoughts go round and round in your head and the more you try to fall asleep the worse it seems to get! Nothing seems to help and you get more annoyed at yourself for not falling asleep thinking about how every hour of wakefulness will mean a more sluggish, listless you. When you should be waking to new day feeling refreshed, renewed and ready to take on what the day instead you feel tired, irritable, and fuzzy headed.  

Most of us have experienced times of sleeplessness and find it to be intensely frustrating, debilitating and exhausting! No wonder insomnia is said to be one of the most common health complaints.

Counting sheep 🐑🐑🐑………zzzzzzz

Counting sheep, counting backwards from 100, establishing a bedtime ritual, having a hot bath, keeping IT devices out of the bedroom, relaxation techniques such as controlled deep breathing, visualisation are all ways to support better sleep, helping the mind to unwind and to program the unconscious mind towards sleep. 

But as you may know from experience these strategies don’t always work. Why? Because often you’re focusing on trying to fall asleep and when you can’t control what’s gaping on you feel more desperate, confused and hopeless even beginning to think there is something wrong with you and that you’re not good enough.There may well be some physical or environmental causes such as the barking dog next door, or too much coffee late at night.

What to do? 

I often suggest to clients to try a three step process which is based on mindful self compassion. 

Step 1: When our minds are constantly busy with thoughts we start to feel anxious either about not being able to go to sleep and the consequences of how we are inadequate and our  nervous system goes on high alert. Firstly we need to recognise how much emotional distress we are feeling at that moment.

Step 2 : To accept that your sleepless is not a fight and that you can’t win! Getting up to read a bit or get a drink

Step 3: To accept this with kindness and compassion for yourself in this situation and let go of the resentment and frustration. Can you direct thoughts of loving kindness to yourself?

Still not working?

There may be times when the mind is troubled with overstimulating thoughts and then you could try genty steering your mind to less energising topics. 

One exercise that I recommend is simply to feel the sensation of each out breath- mindfulness of breathing- and to recite a loving kindness phrase with each out breath. Loving kindness phrases such as “ May I be happy” ‘May I be healthy” “May I live my life with joy and ease” etc will take the edge off your struggle, and the boredom or repeating a phrase over and over will help you drift off into sleep. Word of warning ! This works only if you do the exercise for its own sake and not keeping yourself on edge by doing it to fall asleep.

You might like to listen to this guided mindful self compassion meditation from LiberationInMind.com 

Bioenergetics

“ Bioenergetics is an adventure in self-discovery. It differs from similar explorations into the nature of the self by attempting to understand the human personality in terms of the human body. Most previous explorations focused their investigations on the mind.”                   Alexander Lowen

What is bioenergetics?

Bioenergetics is a body movement technique that on the surface seems to resemble yoga, pilates, or gym exercises but its actually quite different. Emotional energy can be held in the body creating holding patterns or ‘dead spots’ where the natural energy flow has become blocked.  

Dr Alexander Lowen, an American psychotherapist is generally credited with creating Bioenergetics. He was a student of William Reich who coined the term ‘armouring’ to describe chronic muscular holding as being part of the way the body- mind contained emotion and energy. The habitual pattern of holding tension in the body and restricting breathing can keep strong feelings from our conscious attention.

Bioenergetic exercises are used to mobilise physical energy as well as emotional energy, helping to express and release held back emotions so that you feel more alive, to be more in touch and have a deeper awareness of feelings and body sensations.

How to practice bioenergetics?

There are many different Bioenergetic exercises with some being developed for releasing tensions and holding patterns in different parts of the body and for differing purposes. There are some for 'being at the computer', 'jaw and neck stretch', 'taking fear out of the body' and many more. These can all be accessed on YouTube. I particularly like Devaraj Sandberg who is based in the UK but regularly uploads new videos. There is a good introduction at https://youtu.be/IAInDZkLOkI 

In Bioenergetics you breath in a relaxed manner, in and out from down in the belly. This relaxed breathing allows the tension patterns to come up and be released. When doing the exercises you are to do them so you at just on the edge of what you can comfortably bear - not continual pain but not in your comfort zone. 

It’s recommended to start gently at first, to develop some basic familiarity with the exercises then go deeper and deeper with greater benefits. A daily routine of around 30 minutes will energise your body, keep you flexible and progressively remove blocks to your natural energy flow.

The Bow and Arch are a good beginning pair of postures which work together to ground you and release tension or ‘dead spots’ from your back.

Have a look at 

Sandplay Therapy

“ Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” C.G Jung

Currently I’m half way through a Certificate in Sandplay Therapy being run by the Expressive Therapies Institute of Australia and am finding it to be a simple but powerful and profound approach that facilitates the psyche’s natural capacity for healing.  

What is Sandplay Therapy? is it just for children?

" A basic premise of Sandplay Therapy is that deep in the unconscious there is a natural tendency for the psyche to heal itself, given the right conditions.”                 Estelle Weinrib

A Sandplay session begins by engaging with the sand in a tray, letting the hands experience the sand and allowing them to move as they wish. Then you are invited to select some symbols or miniatures displayed on shelves in the room that you are drawn to or attracted to. These symbols are placed in the sandtray to create a picture or story. Reflective questions are asked about the picture and symbols and each symbol is seen to be unlimited in its meaning. Recently one of symbols represented a variety of the big cats to different clients, either being  a cheetah, a leopard, a panther or a tiger each with its own qualities and strengths as described by each client.

 Sandplay lets the parts of you that have no voice a chance to say

Many sandplay clients at first feel hesitant and uncertain when presented with a tray and shelves of symbols or miniatures. When they are creating a picture in the tray they will often comment "I have no idea what i am doing”. This is completely fine as it actually indicates that the ego is nolonger in charge, and gives opportunity for the unconscious to express itself. This is an extremely beneficial aspect of the process. Unconscious contents are activated and flow out onto an object. But they do not flow all the way out into the real world where they often become lost. They become captured in the personal world of the sand tray picture and are a unique statement of the client’s.

“ Sand pictures represent figures and landscapes of the inner and outer worlds and they appear to mediate between and connect these two worlds.”                                                Dora Kalff

Sand play is a non directive therapy it allows free expression, free creation-  there is no right or wrong way as to how you respond or what is created. There is no interpretation given by the therapist as to what the symbols might mean and symbols are not touched or shifted by the therapist. Reflective questions are asked in an invitational way and there are large amounts of pause time and silence. It is a very respectful process allowing the inner healer to be expressed.

Adults as well as children find it to be effective and it is used in welfare agencies, schools, hospitals and drug and alcohol  rehabilitation centres and in counselling and psychology practices.

In this Youtube clip my Sandplay Therapy trainer describes the process of Sandplay for a training course she offered in the Czech Republic in early 2017.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFPD-71sL0w 

Trauma

“Trauma is the most avoided, ignored, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering” Peter Levine in Healing Trauma

What is trauma ?

We often think of trauma as being something associated with experiencing a major catastrophe. However, it can also come from a series of less dramatic events experienced over time which can seem to be just ordinary everyday events . Unfortunately because our response to these ordinary events is less obvious we may not recognise it as being trauma. Nevertheless our nervous system is overwhelmed, our coping strategies don’t work and we’ve lost capacity to deal with things that we perceive to be life - threatening, and we are in fact traumatised. There may be just a subtle awareness of not feeling quite right, without realising that there’s been a gradual undermining of our self- esteem, our self confidence, feelings of well being and connection to life. Connection to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others and the world around us is lost. Our choices are limited, we avoid certain feelings, people, places and situations. Our freedom is constricted and we lose vitality and potential for fulfilling future aspirations. 

Flipping the lid

Dr. Dan Siegel uses the hand as a model of the brain to help explain what is happening when we get traumatised. The arm is the spinal column, the wrist going up to the heel of the palm is the brain stem, the thumb is the limbic system and the four fingers bending to come over the thumb is the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex is the thinking and reasoning part of the brain and the brain stem and the limbic system work together to regulate arousal- fight, flight, freeze and emotions. In an integrated brain we are coping with the stresses that come along with the frontal cortex down regulating any messages about potential danger coming up from the limbic system, calming down the limbic system. However when we get traumatised there is a breakdown in communication between the limbic system and frontal cortex. When fear messages of danger come up from the limbic system and there isn’t a connection to the frontal cortex, we don’t calm down but instead flip our lid ! 

This happens more easily when we’ve been traumatised because our brain has become over activated to monitor for danger and is picking up on all sorts of triggers that could be interpreted as trouble when it’s not really so. The body is in a constant state of stress and reactivity. To make things worse, the stress chemical cortisol can destroy neurons when we are really frightened, particularly those effecting the more far reaching parts of the brain, so we lose contact more quickly and feel we are in living in that place of danger without a good way of dealing with it. We are at the mercy of a negativity bias that perceives threat, feels unsafe and doesn’t allow trust. We blame ourselves for not communicating well, for not being able to cope which cab result in addictive behaviour, avoidant ways as we try to self- sooth our troubled feelings of shame. Our suffering is intense.

Reconnecting

But it’s not our fault! It’s the way the nervous system responds to trauma. When we are in a constant state of arousal - the fight or flight response from our everyday stresses the sympathetic nervous system dominates over the parasympathetic system, the chi or energy in the body is blocked, it isn’t flowing to rest, restore and heal and we feel overwhelmed and exhausted. 

Mindfulness can help!

The frontal cortex is actually the site of mindfulness, of the whole compassion network, or morality and perspective.A loving kindness and compassion mindfulness meditation practice  can create a biochemical shift, reducing the sympathetic nervous system and allowing the parasympathetic system to restore clam to the body and mind. You can feel safe, happy at peace.

Grounding helps too!

Trauma disconnects us from our bodies . Grounding and centering reconnects you with resources available to you in your body.

Simply feeling the feet on the floor, becoming visually aware of what you can hear, see, smell, right at the moment- being present all helps. The breath also can be used to quiet and calm down the nervous system by taking a long deep breath in and a slow long exhale.

“The RAIN of self- compassion”

Recognize what is going on;

Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;

Investigate with interest and care;

Nourish with self-compassion.

Tara Brach

In this just over 2 minute video clip Dr. Dan Siegel demonstrates the concept of flipping your lid

Further information on healing trauma 

https://www.tarabrach.com/healing-trauma/

Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity- Monumental implications

I’ve been reading Norman Doidge’s book “The brain that changes itself” and have to agree with a reviewer from The Times who commented ‘Doidge has identified a tidal shift in basic science and a potential one in medicine. The implications are monumental’.

So what is it all about? What does it mean for us?

For years scientists have viewed the brain as being like machine with localised parts performing specific tasks and if one part was damaged then that function/task was no longer able to be carried out by the body. For example , if you had a stroke that lead to you having difficulty using your left arm then the part of the brain that controlled that movement was “ broken” and could no longer be used.

But now neuroplasticity has been discovered. Neuro is for neuron, the nerve cells in our brain and body and plasticity is  for changeable, malleable or modifiable. The term neuroplasticity refers to the brain being able to change its own structure and function through THOUGHT and ACTIVITY- revolutionising ways of treatment! So when one part of a brain becomes damaged it can reorganise itself so another part can take over, brain cells that have died can be replaced and new brain circuits or new neural pathways can be built and created that can change the way we respond to things.

Shift a boulder with a toothpick?

No doubt there’s been times when you’ve held onto a belief or thought that troubles you and even though you’ve ‘known ‘ or had an ‘awareness’ that the thought was irrational it still sticks. It can seem like there are two parts to your mind, one that says ‘ no’ and the other that says ‘yes’ that belief is true!  You might worry that you won’t be able to … pass the exam/ give a public talk/ learn a new dance…. even though logically you’ve done all these things before so why should it be any different this time ?!  And if anyone does try to convince you of thinking otherwise by appealing to logical reasoning that still  doesn’t help, in fact it’s said to be like ‘ trying to shift a boulder with a toothpick’!  It can actually work in the opposite way, making you want to hold on to the belief even more tightly,  fearing that something that you own is under threat and at risk of being taken away. Brain scans actually show that when a person hears information that disproves a belief of theirs, instead of their brain's cognitive centres lighting up (like you might expect), the emotional centres become active instead. So, our first instinct on hearing information that disproves our own beliefs is to rally our defences against that new information.

Struggling in Quicksand?

We can try very hard to get rid of these thoughts and feelings. A part of us is saying they are irrational and I’ll just try to logic them away. But trying to control these strong beliefs and thoughts is like being stuck in quicksand, where the immediate impulse is to struggle and fight to get out.  But that’s exactly what you mustn’t do in quicksand – because the more you struggle, the deeper you sink – and the more you struggle.  Very much a no-win situation.  Our thoughts and feelings can dominate our lives.

Mindfulness skills

By noticing thoughts rather than being caught up in them, letting our thoughts come and go and seeing if we can create some distance or separation from them is a mindfulness approach - a skill to learn to use.

Firstly we can put the thought into a short sentence … “ I’m no good at..” and then for 10 or so seconds believe it as much as we can. Next we can add  a few extra words “ I’m having the thought that I’m no good at…..”  Lastly, we add a bit more “I notice that I’m having the thought that I’m no good at….”

In mindfulness meditation and mindfulness activities we don’t try to make the thought or belief go away. The focus is on noticing when the mind wanders, to the thoughts,  which it will naturally do. We don’t let it play the same story over and over again but we continue, every time we notice it has wandered, to bring our attention back to the present moment, being aware without judgement of our breath, our surroundings, any sensations we can feel, hear, touch…

Neuroplasticity

Because of the brain’s plasticity we can ‘ grow’ new brain circuits, new neural pathways but it requires effort. Not the effort of the struggle to control and make feelings and thoughts go away but the effort of not giving into the feelings and thoughts. A neuroplasticity approach is when a feeling or thought you don’t want  to be stuck in comes along then you are DO something that is pleasurable for you- whatever that it is. When we do something we enjoy dopamine is released in the body, we feel good and it acts like a reward, it also consolidates and helps connect new neural pathways. As we continue to act in this way this new pathway becomes stronger, and competes with the previous way of responding and eventually wins out as the other weakens because it’s not being used. The  saying ‘use or lose it’ applies and in this case we lose a habit and a neural pathway that is no-longer wanted.

 You might like to have a look at the video “Passengers on a Bus”, a metaphor used to show how to effectively deal with difficult thoughts and feelings. 

"We don't so much break bad habits as replace bad behaviours with better ones" Norman Doidge

The pain of losing a loved one.

“Major losses are the most personal and emotional happenings that we can experience.” (Harvey)

Losing a loved one through death, divorce, or separation; losing our health or mobility through illness or accident;  or losing our job are on some way similar to losing part of ourselves: the self we were before the loss- we feel the pain of the losing something that was intimately connected to our lives, whether it was good or bad. We  wonder why? why me? why them? We think ‘its not fair’, ‘What did I/ they do wrong?’ 

Out of balance 

Recently I attended a funeral. The news of the death of friend’s husband came as a shock, it was unexpected, it brought disbelief and great sadness. He was not that old. It made me think of my own mortality and meaning of life. For some attending the funeral it was even more difficult bringing back memories and feelings of the loss of their own loved one. Some can find they are not yet ready to revisit - it’s just too painful, the wounds of grief are not healed enough, not yet. Grief is a normal response to loss but it affects our whole being- our feelings, thoughts, attitudes, behaviour with others, even our health and bodily symptoms are affected, every aspect of our life is thrown out of balance. We ask ourselves, “Are these feelings and emotions normal?" "Am i going crazy?”

Fish in the sea

Life is not going to be same again. We feel pain, hurt, loss. There’s a sense of aloneness and abandonment.

We find things to distract us, we can travel, drink alcohol excessively, use drugs, and make sure we are busy- anything to block and avoid the pain we feel. We wonder how we will cope and what to do. Well- meaning  friends tell us,  “You’ll get over it”, “ You need to move on”, “There’s more fish in the sea”,  “Time heals all’, ‘You’ll be ok”, “Be strong”. 

And what if we don’t openly expressing our grief then others say, “Are they alright?”

Does it end?

The healing process can’t be hurried, there is no simple formula, no escape, it’s a personal journey that takes time and patience, toward learning to accept and live with the loss, even make meaning of it, not for closure but to be able to assimilate and accomodate to the loss. Grief will always be present but as the pain lessens the waves of grief will come less often and will be less powerful.

"The pain returns, but I can remember the in- between times better". (adult widow)

Some counselling techniques I've used to assist the healing process.

Secrets of the Heart

This exercise was used as a way to continue to feel a connection to our loved one through writing a short note to our loved one about our thoughts or feelings of love, speaking from our heart. An origami heart was made and the note placed inside. The heart can be carried with us in our wallet or kept somewhere special.

Mindfulness

Learning to practice the skill of mindfulness can allow grief to be experienced with less struggle and attempts at escape. Your attention can be brought to focus on bodily sensations, such as the experience of sitting, parts of the body supported by the chair, the floor, your breath.  Attention can also be taken outward to notice the taste of your food, the sound of a bird, the colour of the sky, a breeze or sensations in your feet as you walk. Paying attention to pleasant and unpleasant experiences can be grounding, give you a moment, however momentary, to directly experience being alive, in a relationship with the surrounding environment, to unwind and be open to a new way of being with yourself and others.

Letter Writing

Some clients, as a homework exercise, have been encouraged to write a letter to their loved one, telling them how they felt about losing them and how they are going now  In the following session the client has read out part of the letter or just talked about how it was to write the letter and if there were any insights they wanted to share. The client is then asked to write a letter from the loved one in response to the initial letter. This way feeling are expressed and become more integrated. 

“ Grief is the price we pay for being able to love the way we do” 

What is Qigong?

What is Qigong? How do you pronounce it? Is it one word or two?

These are some of the questions I’m getting asked when I let people know about the Qigong and Mindfulness meditation classes I’ve begun holding in Port Elliot.

Qigong pronounced as “ chee gong” can be written as chi kung, chi gong or chi kung and is spelt as one word which is made up of two words. The first word Qi is the Chinese word for “life energy” and the second word ‘gong’ means “work” or “ benefits acquired through perseverance and practice” so qigong is  “internal energy work”. It is said to be a type of 'moving mindfulness', a Chinese form of yoga as well as acupuncture without needles.

Why do Qigong?

Qi travels through our body through energy vessels known as meridians which are related to various organs of our body. Tension can be held in various parts of our body creating blockages and restricting energy flow so energy doesn’t flow to where it needs to. The practice of qigong clears blockages and relieves tension. The flow of energy is heightened, and the nervous system is strengthened and calmed. At the same time our alertness is heightened, powers of concentration, coordination and inner balance are improved.

Types of Qigong

The forms of qigong that are practised in my classes are: Ba Duan Jin (8 pieces of brocade), Shibashi 1,2,3.

Ba Duan Jin

This is based on Traditional Chinese Medicine Theory. There are eight movements which were created to focus on strengthening the bones and muscles, regulating respiration and Qi circulation while utilising Qigong control of the mind. Each of the 8 movements is related to different internal organs such as the liver, stomach, spleen and heart. The Eight  Brocades or Ba Duan Jin is simple and easy to learn and is best practiced in the morning or evening in fresh air, for 15-30 minutes each time.

Shibashi 1,2,3 

Shibashi (meaning 18 in Mandarin) is a series of 18 energy-enhancing exercises that co-ordinate movement with breathing and concentration. It is a gentle, beautiful and flowing Tai Chi Qigong exercise routine that is is designed to improve your general health and wellbeing. The gentle rocking motions and stretching movements improve circulation and digestion. The chest exercises and controlled breathing are good for lung conditions and asthma. The overall effect of the exercise is to reduce mental stress and physical tension carried in the muscles of the body. Each of the forms has a poetic name, such as ‘dancing with rainbows’, ‘ flying dove’, ‘cloud hands’ and movement is always coordinated with the breath, in fact form follows breath.

Why not try joining a qigong class? 

Though the movements may seem gentle and slow they work the entire body - from the bones to the lymph to the digestive and circulatory systems and more...

I hold Qigong and Mindfulness Meditation classes on
Mondays ( daylight saving dates) 530- 630 pm
Wednesdays 930- 1030 am
Saturdays 9- 10 am

Cost is $10 per session. Held at 50 Waterport Road, Port Elliot.

The video is of my qigong teacher doing Shibashi set 1