Sandplay Therapy

“ Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” C.G Jung

Currently I’m half way through a Certificate in Sandplay Therapy being run by the Expressive Therapies Institute of Australia and am finding it to be a simple but powerful and profound approach that facilitates the psyche’s natural capacity for healing.  

What is Sandplay Therapy? is it just for children?

" A basic premise of Sandplay Therapy is that deep in the unconscious there is a natural tendency for the psyche to heal itself, given the right conditions.”                 Estelle Weinrib

A Sandplay session begins by engaging with the sand in a tray, letting the hands experience the sand and allowing them to move as they wish. Then you are invited to select some symbols or miniatures displayed on shelves in the room that you are drawn to or attracted to. These symbols are placed in the sandtray to create a picture or story. Reflective questions are asked about the picture and symbols and each symbol is seen to be unlimited in its meaning. Recently one of symbols represented a variety of the big cats to different clients, either being  a cheetah, a leopard, a panther or a tiger each with its own qualities and strengths as described by each client.

 Sandplay lets the parts of you that have no voice a chance to say

Many sandplay clients at first feel hesitant and uncertain when presented with a tray and shelves of symbols or miniatures. When they are creating a picture in the tray they will often comment "I have no idea what i am doing”. This is completely fine as it actually indicates that the ego is nolonger in charge, and gives opportunity for the unconscious to express itself. This is an extremely beneficial aspect of the process. Unconscious contents are activated and flow out onto an object. But they do not flow all the way out into the real world where they often become lost. They become captured in the personal world of the sand tray picture and are a unique statement of the client’s.

“ Sand pictures represent figures and landscapes of the inner and outer worlds and they appear to mediate between and connect these two worlds.”                                                Dora Kalff

Sand play is a non directive therapy it allows free expression, free creation-  there is no right or wrong way as to how you respond or what is created. There is no interpretation given by the therapist as to what the symbols might mean and symbols are not touched or shifted by the therapist. Reflective questions are asked in an invitational way and there are large amounts of pause time and silence. It is a very respectful process allowing the inner healer to be expressed.

Adults as well as children find it to be effective and it is used in welfare agencies, schools, hospitals and drug and alcohol  rehabilitation centres and in counselling and psychology practices.

In this Youtube clip my Sandplay Therapy trainer describes the process of Sandplay for a training course she offered in the Czech Republic in early 2017.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFPD-71sL0w 

Trauma

“Trauma is the most avoided, ignored, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering” Peter Levine in Healing Trauma

What is trauma ?

We often think of trauma as being something associated with experiencing a major catastrophe. However, it can also come from a series of less dramatic events experienced over time which can seem to be just ordinary everyday events . Unfortunately because our response to these ordinary events is less obvious we may not recognise it as being trauma. Nevertheless our nervous system is overwhelmed, our coping strategies don’t work and we’ve lost capacity to deal with things that we perceive to be life - threatening, and we are in fact traumatised. There may be just a subtle awareness of not feeling quite right, without realising that there’s been a gradual undermining of our self- esteem, our self confidence, feelings of well being and connection to life. Connection to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others and the world around us is lost. Our choices are limited, we avoid certain feelings, people, places and situations. Our freedom is constricted and we lose vitality and potential for fulfilling future aspirations. 

Flipping the lid

Dr. Dan Siegel uses the hand as a model of the brain to help explain what is happening when we get traumatised. The arm is the spinal column, the wrist going up to the heel of the palm is the brain stem, the thumb is the limbic system and the four fingers bending to come over the thumb is the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex is the thinking and reasoning part of the brain and the brain stem and the limbic system work together to regulate arousal- fight, flight, freeze and emotions. In an integrated brain we are coping with the stresses that come along with the frontal cortex down regulating any messages about potential danger coming up from the limbic system, calming down the limbic system. However when we get traumatised there is a breakdown in communication between the limbic system and frontal cortex. When fear messages of danger come up from the limbic system and there isn’t a connection to the frontal cortex, we don’t calm down but instead flip our lid ! 

This happens more easily when we’ve been traumatised because our brain has become over activated to monitor for danger and is picking up on all sorts of triggers that could be interpreted as trouble when it’s not really so. The body is in a constant state of stress and reactivity. To make things worse, the stress chemical cortisol can destroy neurons when we are really frightened, particularly those effecting the more far reaching parts of the brain, so we lose contact more quickly and feel we are in living in that place of danger without a good way of dealing with it. We are at the mercy of a negativity bias that perceives threat, feels unsafe and doesn’t allow trust. We blame ourselves for not communicating well, for not being able to cope which cab result in addictive behaviour, avoidant ways as we try to self- sooth our troubled feelings of shame. Our suffering is intense.

Reconnecting

But it’s not our fault! It’s the way the nervous system responds to trauma. When we are in a constant state of arousal - the fight or flight response from our everyday stresses the sympathetic nervous system dominates over the parasympathetic system, the chi or energy in the body is blocked, it isn’t flowing to rest, restore and heal and we feel overwhelmed and exhausted. 

Mindfulness can help!

The frontal cortex is actually the site of mindfulness, of the whole compassion network, or morality and perspective.A loving kindness and compassion mindfulness meditation practice  can create a biochemical shift, reducing the sympathetic nervous system and allowing the parasympathetic system to restore clam to the body and mind. You can feel safe, happy at peace.

Grounding helps too!

Trauma disconnects us from our bodies . Grounding and centering reconnects you with resources available to you in your body.

Simply feeling the feet on the floor, becoming visually aware of what you can hear, see, smell, right at the moment- being present all helps. The breath also can be used to quiet and calm down the nervous system by taking a long deep breath in and a slow long exhale.

“The RAIN of self- compassion”

Recognize what is going on;

Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;

Investigate with interest and care;

Nourish with self-compassion.

Tara Brach

In this just over 2 minute video clip Dr. Dan Siegel demonstrates the concept of flipping your lid

Further information on healing trauma 

https://www.tarabrach.com/healing-trauma/

Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity- Monumental implications

I’ve been reading Norman Doidge’s book “The brain that changes itself” and have to agree with a reviewer from The Times who commented ‘Doidge has identified a tidal shift in basic science and a potential one in medicine. The implications are monumental’.

So what is it all about? What does it mean for us?

For years scientists have viewed the brain as being like machine with localised parts performing specific tasks and if one part was damaged then that function/task was no longer able to be carried out by the body. For example , if you had a stroke that lead to you having difficulty using your left arm then the part of the brain that controlled that movement was “ broken” and could no longer be used.

But now neuroplasticity has been discovered. Neuro is for neuron, the nerve cells in our brain and body and plasticity is  for changeable, malleable or modifiable. The term neuroplasticity refers to the brain being able to change its own structure and function through THOUGHT and ACTIVITY- revolutionising ways of treatment! So when one part of a brain becomes damaged it can reorganise itself so another part can take over, brain cells that have died can be replaced and new brain circuits or new neural pathways can be built and created that can change the way we respond to things.

Shift a boulder with a toothpick?

No doubt there’s been times when you’ve held onto a belief or thought that troubles you and even though you’ve ‘known ‘ or had an ‘awareness’ that the thought was irrational it still sticks. It can seem like there are two parts to your mind, one that says ‘ no’ and the other that says ‘yes’ that belief is true!  You might worry that you won’t be able to … pass the exam/ give a public talk/ learn a new dance…. even though logically you’ve done all these things before so why should it be any different this time ?!  And if anyone does try to convince you of thinking otherwise by appealing to logical reasoning that still  doesn’t help, in fact it’s said to be like ‘ trying to shift a boulder with a toothpick’!  It can actually work in the opposite way, making you want to hold on to the belief even more tightly,  fearing that something that you own is under threat and at risk of being taken away. Brain scans actually show that when a person hears information that disproves a belief of theirs, instead of their brain's cognitive centres lighting up (like you might expect), the emotional centres become active instead. So, our first instinct on hearing information that disproves our own beliefs is to rally our defences against that new information.

Struggling in Quicksand?

We can try very hard to get rid of these thoughts and feelings. A part of us is saying they are irrational and I’ll just try to logic them away. But trying to control these strong beliefs and thoughts is like being stuck in quicksand, where the immediate impulse is to struggle and fight to get out.  But that’s exactly what you mustn’t do in quicksand – because the more you struggle, the deeper you sink – and the more you struggle.  Very much a no-win situation.  Our thoughts and feelings can dominate our lives.

Mindfulness skills

By noticing thoughts rather than being caught up in them, letting our thoughts come and go and seeing if we can create some distance or separation from them is a mindfulness approach - a skill to learn to use.

Firstly we can put the thought into a short sentence … “ I’m no good at..” and then for 10 or so seconds believe it as much as we can. Next we can add  a few extra words “ I’m having the thought that I’m no good at…..”  Lastly, we add a bit more “I notice that I’m having the thought that I’m no good at….”

In mindfulness meditation and mindfulness activities we don’t try to make the thought or belief go away. The focus is on noticing when the mind wanders, to the thoughts,  which it will naturally do. We don’t let it play the same story over and over again but we continue, every time we notice it has wandered, to bring our attention back to the present moment, being aware without judgement of our breath, our surroundings, any sensations we can feel, hear, touch…

Neuroplasticity

Because of the brain’s plasticity we can ‘ grow’ new brain circuits, new neural pathways but it requires effort. Not the effort of the struggle to control and make feelings and thoughts go away but the effort of not giving into the feelings and thoughts. A neuroplasticity approach is when a feeling or thought you don’t want  to be stuck in comes along then you are DO something that is pleasurable for you- whatever that it is. When we do something we enjoy dopamine is released in the body, we feel good and it acts like a reward, it also consolidates and helps connect new neural pathways. As we continue to act in this way this new pathway becomes stronger, and competes with the previous way of responding and eventually wins out as the other weakens because it’s not being used. The  saying ‘use or lose it’ applies and in this case we lose a habit and a neural pathway that is no-longer wanted.

 You might like to have a look at the video “Passengers on a Bus”, a metaphor used to show how to effectively deal with difficult thoughts and feelings. 

"We don't so much break bad habits as replace bad behaviours with better ones" Norman Doidge

The pain of losing a loved one.

“Major losses are the most personal and emotional happenings that we can experience.” (Harvey)

Losing a loved one through death, divorce, or separation; losing our health or mobility through illness or accident;  or losing our job are on some way similar to losing part of ourselves: the self we were before the loss- we feel the pain of the losing something that was intimately connected to our lives, whether it was good or bad. We  wonder why? why me? why them? We think ‘its not fair’, ‘What did I/ they do wrong?’ 

Out of balance 

Recently I attended a funeral. The news of the death of friend’s husband came as a shock, it was unexpected, it brought disbelief and great sadness. He was not that old. It made me think of my own mortality and meaning of life. For some attending the funeral it was even more difficult bringing back memories and feelings of the loss of their own loved one. Some can find they are not yet ready to revisit - it’s just too painful, the wounds of grief are not healed enough, not yet. Grief is a normal response to loss but it affects our whole being- our feelings, thoughts, attitudes, behaviour with others, even our health and bodily symptoms are affected, every aspect of our life is thrown out of balance. We ask ourselves, “Are these feelings and emotions normal?" "Am i going crazy?”

Fish in the sea

Life is not going to be same again. We feel pain, hurt, loss. There’s a sense of aloneness and abandonment.

We find things to distract us, we can travel, drink alcohol excessively, use drugs, and make sure we are busy- anything to block and avoid the pain we feel. We wonder how we will cope and what to do. Well- meaning  friends tell us,  “You’ll get over it”, “ You need to move on”, “There’s more fish in the sea”,  “Time heals all’, ‘You’ll be ok”, “Be strong”. 

And what if we don’t openly expressing our grief then others say, “Are they alright?”

Does it end?

The healing process can’t be hurried, there is no simple formula, no escape, it’s a personal journey that takes time and patience, toward learning to accept and live with the loss, even make meaning of it, not for closure but to be able to assimilate and accomodate to the loss. Grief will always be present but as the pain lessens the waves of grief will come less often and will be less powerful.

"The pain returns, but I can remember the in- between times better". (adult widow)

Some counselling techniques I've used to assist the healing process.

Secrets of the Heart

This exercise was used as a way to continue to feel a connection to our loved one through writing a short note to our loved one about our thoughts or feelings of love, speaking from our heart. An origami heart was made and the note placed inside. The heart can be carried with us in our wallet or kept somewhere special.

Mindfulness

Learning to practice the skill of mindfulness can allow grief to be experienced with less struggle and attempts at escape. Your attention can be brought to focus on bodily sensations, such as the experience of sitting, parts of the body supported by the chair, the floor, your breath.  Attention can also be taken outward to notice the taste of your food, the sound of a bird, the colour of the sky, a breeze or sensations in your feet as you walk. Paying attention to pleasant and unpleasant experiences can be grounding, give you a moment, however momentary, to directly experience being alive, in a relationship with the surrounding environment, to unwind and be open to a new way of being with yourself and others.

Letter Writing

Some clients, as a homework exercise, have been encouraged to write a letter to their loved one, telling them how they felt about losing them and how they are going now  In the following session the client has read out part of the letter or just talked about how it was to write the letter and if there were any insights they wanted to share. The client is then asked to write a letter from the loved one in response to the initial letter. This way feeling are expressed and become more integrated. 

“ Grief is the price we pay for being able to love the way we do” 

What is Qigong?

What is Qigong? How do you pronounce it? Is it one word or two?

These are some of the questions I’m getting asked when I let people know about the Qigong and Mindfulness meditation classes I’ve begun holding in Port Elliot.

Qigong pronounced as “ chee gong” can be written as chi kung, chi gong or chi kung and is spelt as one word which is made up of two words. The first word Qi is the Chinese word for “life energy” and the second word ‘gong’ means “work” or “ benefits acquired through perseverance and practice” so qigong is  “internal energy work”. It is said to be a type of 'moving mindfulness', a Chinese form of yoga as well as acupuncture without needles.

Why do Qigong?

Qi travels through our body through energy vessels known as meridians which are related to various organs of our body. Tension can be held in various parts of our body creating blockages and restricting energy flow so energy doesn’t flow to where it needs to. The practice of qigong clears blockages and relieves tension. The flow of energy is heightened, and the nervous system is strengthened and calmed. At the same time our alertness is heightened, powers of concentration, coordination and inner balance are improved.

Types of Qigong

The forms of qigong that are practised in my classes are: Ba Duan Jin (8 pieces of brocade), Shibashi 1,2,3.

Ba Duan Jin

This is based on Traditional Chinese Medicine Theory. There are eight movements which were created to focus on strengthening the bones and muscles, regulating respiration and Qi circulation while utilising Qigong control of the mind. Each of the 8 movements is related to different internal organs such as the liver, stomach, spleen and heart. The Eight  Brocades or Ba Duan Jin is simple and easy to learn and is best practiced in the morning or evening in fresh air, for 15-30 minutes each time.

Shibashi 1,2,3 

Shibashi (meaning 18 in Mandarin) is a series of 18 energy-enhancing exercises that co-ordinate movement with breathing and concentration. It is a gentle, beautiful and flowing Tai Chi Qigong exercise routine that is is designed to improve your general health and wellbeing. The gentle rocking motions and stretching movements improve circulation and digestion. The chest exercises and controlled breathing are good for lung conditions and asthma. The overall effect of the exercise is to reduce mental stress and physical tension carried in the muscles of the body. Each of the forms has a poetic name, such as ‘dancing with rainbows’, ‘ flying dove’, ‘cloud hands’ and movement is always coordinated with the breath, in fact form follows breath.

Why not try joining a qigong class? 

Though the movements may seem gentle and slow they work the entire body - from the bones to the lymph to the digestive and circulatory systems and more...

I hold Qigong and Mindfulness Meditation classes on
Mondays ( daylight saving dates) 530- 630 pm
Wednesdays 930- 1030 am
Saturdays 9- 10 am

Cost is $10 per session. Held at 50 Waterport Road, Port Elliot.

The video is of my qigong teacher doing Shibashi set 1

Mindfulness: Awareness of Thought

"I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences.”  Eckhart Tolle

Am I who I think I am? 

There are so many thoughts going on in our mind all the time. We live in a constant stream of automatic, associative thoughts just like fish in living in water. Sometimes we find ourselves caught up in thinking about the past, fearing the future, comparing ourselves to others and being critical of others and ourselves. In fact, 47% of our waking life is spent thinking about what is not actually happening at the present moment. 

Our thoughts as seen to be ‘truths’ as to who we are and what will/ did happen. Thoughts can overwhelm us, confuse, frustrate and sadden us. We might wish there was a switch to turn “the noise machine in the head” OFF so to have some peace!

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”  Eckhart Tolle

What to do with our thoughts?

 Our thoughts are just thoughts but they can feel very real. When we focus our attention on them we start to see then as if they are something solid, as factual.

Through the practice of mindfulness meditation, we can learn to recognise our thoughts without becoming lost in their content. This gives us the capacity to later choose what thoughts to engage with, and to have increasing access to present moment experience. Having an ability to choose is precious. Some thoughts are useful but many are repetitive and can stir up fear. When our thoughts are compelling, we can go into a trance and forget they are just thoughts and we start to take them as being reality. 

In mindfulness practice we learn to simply recognise that thinking is going on and then we relax, open, reconnect with our senses—relaxing back into awareness of our body, of our breath or chosen anchor. With practice over time, our lives become guided by the wisdom that “I am not my thoughts; I don’t have to believe my thoughts.”

Use of lovingkindness and forgiveness mindfulness practices

 Each time you are willing to slow down and recognise, oh, this is the trance of unworthiness… this is fear… this is hurt…this is judgment…, you are poised to de-condition the old habits and limiting self-beliefs that imprison your heart. Gradually, you’ll experience natural loving awareness as the truth of who you are, more than any story you ever told yourself about being “not good enough” or “basically flawed”.

By bringing a gentle allowing attention to the present moment, we are cultivating the respect and appreciation of lovingkindness. When we bring mindful presence to physical or emotional difficulty, our heart opens in compassion. Taking some time to practice the lovingkindness, forgiveness, and compassion meditations can be very helpful.

“ How you respond to the issue is the issue.”  Frankie Perez

I invite you to give yourself the gift of listening to this guided lovingkindness meditation lead by Tara Brach.

Mindfulness

"Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and non- judgementally." 
Jon Kabat- Zinn

Our mind experiences a continual barrage of thoughts and feelings, our reactions happen automatically- whether it’s what we want or not, and the pattern of the way we do things becomes habit. Can we take more control?

We have about 50-70,000 thoughts a day- there's a constant stream of thoughts that move through our minds and a lot of the time our mind is not actually focused on what we're doing.

Maybe you can relate to sitting down to work, and catching yourself jumping between tasks and feeling like you’re not really doing anything properly? Or you find yourself worrying about the future or dwelling on painful memories… why did I say that? why didn’t I do …. We do a lot of thinking! Is it always helpful even necessary?

Often it can be difficult to switch off at night and go to sleep, our minds are busy going through all the things we have to do and haven’t done…

It can seem like our mind has a mind of its own. Sometimes the mind is referred to as a “monkey mind” because just like a monkey jumps from branch to branch the untrained mind jumps from thought to thought, very rarely able to stay in one place. 

Teach a dog new tricks?  

There's a saying 'you can't teach a dog new tricks' but can our brain learn new ways of responding and reacting ? 

Scientific studies have now identified something called 'neuroplasticity'- a buzz word that refers to the ability of the brain to reorganise itself, both physically and functionally. This means that those automatic thoughts, feelings and reactions can be changed- we’re not trapped, or locked into old ways and patterns of thinking and responding. The good news is that our brain can be rewired! I sometimes think that practising mindfulness, 'defrags' my brain like you 'defrag' your computer to get it to run more effectively.

Mindfulness 

Mindfulness is a way of training our minds so that we can choose where we want to focus our attention and keep it there.

It can seem as brain hygiene or brain fitness training. So, just like you brush your teeth everyday, you brush your brain every day with mindfulness. By exercising the attention "muscle" of the mind you strengthen the mind to be more focussed, and calm and you become mentally fitter. By taking more control over our focus of attention and making choices as to what we want to focus on we start to train and control our mind.
The power is with us- we can rewire our brain!

Practicing mindfulness

There’s a wide variety of ways to practice mindfulness- meditation, breathing, walking, doing the dishes, eating…

Mindfulness of the breath can be a good way to start. It's where you focus on your breath and when you find that your attention has wandered, you lovingly return your attention back to the breath. You continue to just sense the in breath and the out breath. It's like you're riding the wave of your breath. Again and again you return your attention back to the breath- whenever you notice that your focus has strayed from the breath.

"You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat- Zinn

I invite you to allow yourself  3 minutes to follow this mindfulness exercise lead by Jon Kabat- Zinn

Why see a counsellor?

"When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. I have deeply appreciated the times that I have experienced this sensitive, empathic, concentrated listening.” 
 ― Carl R. Rogers

Instead of asking ‘do I need to see a counsellor?’ perhaps ask, ‘might I benefit from counselling?’

Would I like to..

• relieve anxiety
• lower my stress levels
• tackle depression
• increase my self- confidence
• improve my relationships
• improve my health

Counselling can help you understand what is going on for you and what would help you best. 

It gives you an opportunity to:

• talk confidentially to someone impartial so you are free to explore your true feelings and thoughts without judgement
• understand how early experiences might be affecting you in the present
• untangle ‘baggage’ or old hurts which might be holding you back in your current relationships, behaviours and attitudes 
• find a better way to move forward
• learn some self- help skills

Counselling can be short term, one or two sessions or longer term, 6-8 sessions. If you’re not sure about counselling why not book for an initial session? Then you can find out more about how counselling works and decide if it would be useful for your situation.

Beyond Blue’s “have the conversation” video encourages taking the first step

Going to counselling

“helped me realise what I was thinking”            teenager male
"was useful for talking about how I feel"            teenager female
"took away a lot of stress, depression, anxiety and I became more observant and happier"                                                    teenager female

Introduction to Expressive Arts Therapy

“We use the arts to let go, to express, and to release" - Natalie Rogers

Have you ever been told to just, stop those negative thoughts, think positively and you’ll be fine?!

By changing your mindset you can change your behaviour and vice versa. Sure that does work, for a time, go out and get some exercise, take note of all the things that you’re grateful for and you’ll feel better. But our well-being not only depends on positive thoughts and making the right behaviour choices, but it is also effective by the emotions we feel and often we are not aware of those emotions.

They can be held deep in our unconscious or even blocked as a protective mechanism. Before we can address our thoughts that are causing us distress / problems we need to get in touch with and release your emotions that have such a powerful effect on us.

By involving the body, mind and the emotions in a healing process, our intuitive and imaginative abilities can be brought forth as well as our logical, linear thought process. Emotional states are not often logical, so the use of imagery and non verbal modes can allow an alternative path to self exploration and communication.

This process is a powerful integrative force.

You may like to express yourself through writing, movement or art, some people like use imagery, choosing your own colours, medium and symbols as a language that speaks from your unconscious and which has particular meaning for you. This allows you to discover unknown aspects of your self and gain greater awareness of self knowledge. 

You discover, experience and accept unknown aspects of yourself which help you go beyond your problems to seeing yourself constructively taking action in the world.

You might start to feel stressed and your blood pressure rises when people start to talk you in a very angry tone about a situation or start to direct their anger at you. One technique that I’ve found that can help, is an activity called Finding Peace.

Activity: Finding Peace

Step 1: You create a symbolic representation on a large piece of paper of an unpleasant situation that you can’t change.  

• For example you could draw people yelling at you at work

Step 2: Then you create in another image, elements that provide some peace with the circumstance

• For example you could draw people speaking kindly to you at work

Step 3: This image can provide a sense of well-being and you can bring it to mind when you’re feeling overwhelmed or the situation is troubling you.

You might gain insight into ideas for how to approach the situation by going through this process.

Expressive Arts Therapy with Natalie Rogers